Red Loop

​I wiped my brow and sobbed –

Everything is clean and fresh.

Today, the machine was complete;

A portal into the past, wow!

I will choose simplicity; two days ago –

I would still be working, finishing up;

What a surprise I would be to myself!

The strain of completion drains us all,

We obsess with perfection; dull pain

And headaches bleeding into the corner.

Ah yes, two days ago, how could I forget –

A test run to warm the components 

Complete with Shiny metal contortions.

I don’t remember why I struck out,

Just seemed unnatural, crawling through

With arm extended – grinning horror.

I just kept hitting until all stopped

And there lay a pool of my future.

Had to forget…keep believing….

Change the subject and remove the stains

That fate is surely nonsense… breakdown

Of atoms that can change in seconds.

Momentarily I was not myself;

Should never have been so close

To the hammer….my eyes were alive!

Heart was beating, pounding –

And then all was quiet. Success.

I will offer my hand in friendship and smile

And it will finally be over.

Conversation

​”You don’t talk very much, do you?”

“I think I talk enough.”

“I don’t hear you talk that often at all.”

“Are my lack of words strange to you?”

‘No. No not really but…”

“you see, social anxiety is tough. But over many years

I have learnt that being in rooms with strangers

And acting normal is a completely pointless endeavour;

You look more socially anxious. So, 

I hover, picking up conversations that interest me and

Choose my words very, very carefully so that I have 

Meaning and purpose to a group of people. With this,

I enjoy talking to people more often and begin to accept

That while I am still mentally insecure, I can play a part

And still accept that I am essentially unique.

You see, I’m not ashamed of being different, but if

Planning ahead means that I can enjoy the company

Of strangers and friends that little bit more, then 

I am content to hover and silently choose.”

…………………

“But thanks for noticing.”

Bring Out The Best In Me

I studied the sky intently with a borrowed suit
Designed to wait in the way required by them
However, I could barely stand up straight.
The wind whistled the tune of change in us all;
Difference was hard to spot, but noticeable.
I straightened my silver tie and watched.

Today is a delegation, A kind of meeting;
Awaiting the masters who have always controlled us,
Kept us safe, stopped us from moving too quickly.
I suppose I should be grateful for the envious honour
To greet, parade and welcome the Overseer
Into their world of limitless Joy in the castles.

My feet clicked and my back engulfed me;
Just stand and smile while taking it all in
To show the world what peace really looks like.
After all, I don’t suppose people even noticed a war,
There was no rubble, no burning buildings of hate.
It was an extermination of our disorder; Priceless.

My first guess was that we needed to be taught a lesson;
A demonstration of mechanised efficiency so valuable,
So understandable to live in the castles with pride.
I can turn and see these rounded marvels of steel;
Forged with precision and undeniable authority
Making sure we stand where are with our silver ties.

When the night is as dark as graphite, they appear.
It is almost routine to hear the buzz before your eyes
Adjust – whether with tears or the clouds of dust accumulated.
Emotions aside, here they are and here I am; sold
To the natural way of life, Inside the tall towers.
I sometimes wonder what living on the outside is like.

My ancestors were slimy in their intent; Dominating
With their thoughts of world supremacy – Metal Bullets.
The delegation is a sign of change and continuity all in one;
The Earth is not big enough for two contrasts; stigma.
We sit and take it all in while the mechanised control
And tell us what we are thinking with a sense of purpose.

There are two types of person; we are told this all the time.

I wish I could float

I wish I could float
Taller than the sky below
To see the curvature;
Wave at the windows
Inside the little dome.

Arms apart, Hands free
Feet shaking uncontrollably
As the world zooms in;
A mirror of the pain below
Moving further away.

Swimming through Air
In the midst of treading
Cycling with childish grace;
Tears running down my face
To keep up and follow.

I see what I need to
When I’m nearer the stars
And nothing is up here;
Wilderness can be bliss
Looking down at colour.

Somewhere up here anyway
I aim to see the past
That the ground seems to miss;
Violent struggles of time
Spat out into the air to catch.

I wish I could float
To see the line of thoughts
Sadly erased from memory;
Hidden, controlled and lasting
Waving back at me.

I float, I see; we all see.
When I reach what I’m looking for
Crash.

Pleasure seeker

I opened up to the world in order to create the next day.
Yesterday was exillerating; I discovered a moment that overwhelmed –
Laughter and amusements within a simple setting – nothing special.
However, as with unpredictability the situation was like a golden pill;
A cure-all for the terminal pleasure seeker in distress.
I sat in the car with the realisation that recreation would level me;
Quiet pleasures in the sun tomorrow and everyday; keep to schedule.

I knew what the day would bring, I was convinced of it;
In bed I barely moved in dream-mode as the lights flickered relentlessly;
Dominant greens overlapping the shiny blue ether of eternal deep.
We were there, stopping and starting – the tears of summer joy.
Yes, the day will be created to fit the landscape image and ease the pain.
In silent embrace I allowed my contentment to take me through the night.

I opened up to the world in order to create the new day.
I sat, waited and processed, but nothing. The rain was unbearable –
Amusements closed and the faces solumn; whitewashed movement.
As with unpredictability the situation is encouraged by my mood;
Ever changing pathways of supposed order – lies in the open air.
I recreate to maintain this order, a new meaning for a happy moment;
The very pleasure is predictable, but my mind makes it unbearable.

Lone

Empty house so full of light –
Breathing into every new day;
Open-plan demonstrations in twilight
With me and my bed in the middle.

Empty house take in the air for us –
Circulating freshness in channels;
Bitter fighting in the blind spots
As I try and hide with sound appreciation.

Empty house in the wooded clearing –
New life with every open window;
The yellow flames twinkle to white
With duck feathers all around me.

Empty house with it’s picture presentation –
A testament to well loved oak;
Standing tall as the lone warrior
Sipping in the morning air in waves.

In Memoriam.

Confusing Day In The Life Of A Nobody

Hello? Can you see me? Thought not.
Of course, this is the way it should be,
As it always will. I transform and shed –
My skin – A part of what hides me.
As much as I can tell, this invisible
Sideways motion impacts little. Stand –
In the corner – amused by the rush,
The panic of generations; wow!
Hiya. Greetings from nowhere; Look –
Towards the end of the road; eternity
That spills over to the other side,
Twisting and crunching into place.
I can see this clearly; marble eyes –
Unfazed by the bloom of noise.

For one day only I see everything.

Nobody is better than somebody
Who grows old, takes pain and yearns.
Somebody is better than everybody –
In unison with the mechanical life;
Glaring over the land with suspicion.

For today I am a Nobody; Tomorrow –
I settle down and probably chat.
I join the community and become…
Whatever they tell me.

Trust

Today I invented a time machine.
I powered it up and turned it on,
It buzzed with a ferocious venom.
Suddenly, a figure appeared –
Through the cloud he was there.
He was me.
Stunned, I realised this was the future.
I was staring at a wiser, older me.
So many questions to ask,
So many problems to solve –
But he was not here for chit-chat;
In fact only six words were said

‘Do not go through the machine.’

Then as quickly as that, Vanished.
Needless to say I was disappointed.
After all, in the future surely
I will have to go through, simply
to warn my younger self, like today.
Dilemma.
But I won’t let it bother me.
I will trust my future self,
Turn the machine off
And live my life.

But I always wondered.
What was I trying to warn myself?
What was so important that demanded
Traveling through time?
The mind ticked over as years passed;
The machine a dusty relic in the corner.

I am now about that age.
Older, wiser and still alert; I trust
Myself not to time travel, even to the past.
But I cannot help but turn the machine on –
Just for old time’s sake.
The buzzing was familiar.
Do I complete the chain? But why?
There is nothing to warn my younger self.

Suddenly a figure appeared –
Through the cloud he was there.
He was me.
Stunned, I realised this was the future.
I was staring at a wiser, older me.
Why was he here? Why did I travel?
But he was not here for chit-chat;
In fact only six words were said

‘I beg you, use the Machine.’

As We Set

Blue veil of promising warmth
Holding everything inside,
Beaming through the radiance
Searing lifeforce far and wide.

Red patterns of stained heat,
A mark of seasons length.
Sweeping down to strike you
For tagging on to strength.

The white air of day
Draws you in with light,
Seagulls know the true
Path – Try as they might.

Grey matter floating –
Blending into chalk
To create madness
Within careless talk.

Deep rouge without foundation
Blanketing the walls in silence.
Mixing everything in place
Within the compound balance.

And then we go to sleep,
To dream of merrier times –
Between the conscious.

One

One night was all it took
The magic kept us there
All colour in the air
I begged you take a look.

One time to tell the truth
Discover all our wants
Then confess all our Haunts
And reminisce Our Youth.

One chance to feel your form
Will I be ready now
The golden Air somehow
Will calm the mindless storm.

Both minds merged into one
The rush of feeling flow
Her words an afterglow
Of what had just begun.

We call to hearts abound
Why do they grant this touch
Of memories so much
They twist us all around.

One night of calm embrace
To feel you on my skin
The sound of violin
Your blanket windswept face.

Two days of keeping faith
And closing all the doors
I knew that when I swore
I promised all I gave.

One moment’s not enough
The laughter filled the air
To smell and stroke your hair
Discovered I’m in Love.